Hi, my name’s RiJie and I’m addicted to writing. When I am depressed or in a good mood, happy or sad I am taking my pen and diary (now- computer). After that I am starting to write on the white sheet of the paper. I have a habit of writing anything what matters me most. I write about my everyday problems, my family, my friends, my life, etc. I think that you can share most of your secrets only on paper. Well, paper will never betray you unlike people.
But sometimes I have problems with writing. One day I can write 30 pages in an hour or more, the other day I can’t write a single sentence. And the former generally prevails. Well, I kept convincing myself that if I can’t write at the very moment, I have this so-called writer’s block. But maybe I am mistaking my laziness with this phenomenon. And maybe I am not good enough to become a writer one day. In the Wikipedia writer’s block is described as a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work, or experiences a creative slowdown. On the contrary laziness is described as disinclination to activity or exertion despite having the ability to act or exert oneself.
I have never thought I will consider myself lazy one day. OK, I sometimes thought I am not beautiful enough, I am neither humble, nor have a good taste. But I always considered myself hardworking, a person who is capable to do anything.
So, what is this? Why do I feel that something is missing? Why do I feel I am missing my identity and me in this big world full of extraordinary things?
I have always searched for the answers in writing. But sometimes I can stare at the wall doing nothing rather than writing anything. What is wrong with me? Is this laziness or writer’s block? Or am I just growing up?